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Seventhnight
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
2878 Posts |
 Posted - 2005-03-03 : 16:18:34
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quote:
Microsoft OLE DB Provider for SQL Server error '80004005' Transaction (Process ID 142) was deadlocked on lock resources with another process and has been chosen as the deadlock victim. Rerun the transaction. /forums/active.asp, line 349
 Corey "If the only tool you have is a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail." - Mark Twain |
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TG
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
6065 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-03 : 16:46:29
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| That's kind of like when Bill Gates got the blue screen when unveiling Win95 :)Be One with the OptimizerTG |
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Xerxes
Aged Yak Warrior
666 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-03 : 17:16:13
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Corey, is this for real? You're not puttin' us on, are ya?Semper fi, XERXES, USMC(Ret.)------------------------------------------------------The Marine Corps taught me everything but SQL! |
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graz
Chief SQLTeam Crack Dealer
4149 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-03 : 18:28:37
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| Wow! I've never seen that here before. Has anyone else?===============================================Creating tomorrow's legacy systems today.One crisis at a time. |
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Seventhnight
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
2878 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-03 : 20:46:32
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Its for real... and graz this was my first as well...I have seen a couple of other messages... but I haven't kept track of them  Corey"If the only tool you have is a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail." - Mark Twain |
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jsmith8858
Dr. Cross Join
7423 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-03 : 22:42:03
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| >>been chosen as the deadlock victimI just can't help but picture this scene .....Process #142 is trying to complete his tasks for the day, but he has been waiting patiently for another process to tidy up so he can finish his work. After a short while, there is a knock on his office door. He opens the door to see his boss, Mr. Process Manager, and two big goons he has never seen before. "Great to see you, Mr. Process Manager!" says Process #142, "How are things? I'm just about finished up here, just waiting on a few things and I can wrap it all up!" "I'm afraid", Mr. Process Manager says somewhat somberly as he enters the room, "that we have a situation.""umm ... ok ... what's up?" asks Process #142."We are experiencing a problem on the server, known as a deadlock.""A deadlock?" asks Process #142, "hmm .. that's doesn't sound good ...""No," says Mr. Process Manager, "it is not. That's why we are here." He motions to the goons behind him. One of them smiles, displaying very few teeth. The other flexes his arms and cracks his knuckles."Uh ... yes, " Process #142 stammers as he watches the goons. "But ... I'm afraid I don't understand ... When can I complete my process?" "Well," Mr. Process Manager replies, "that is not possible."Process #142 finds that suddenly he has become quite nervous. "Not possible? But I just have a few more things! I can finish up in no time, I - ""No, I'm afraid that you won't be finishing things up today, #142."Process #142 notices the two goons are slowly and deliberately approaching him. He finds himself backing up into a corner of his office, but there is nowhere to go."What is going on!? What are you doing!?"Mr. Process Manager quietly closes the office door. "You see," he explains, "we have a resource problem. You require a particular resource another process is using, and that same process needs a resource that you are using. There is no easy solution. Drastic actions must be taken to rectify the situation. After much careful deliberation, you have been selected.""What? I don't understand!" gulps Process #142.Mr. Process Manager closes the shades on the lone window to the office. One goon pulls a strange, dangerous looking object that Process #142 has never seen before out of his coat."Yes, #142. I am afraid you have been chosen as the deadlock victim, and you are being terminated immediately. This is the last time you will be deadlocking resources with another process on our server.""No!!!!!" screams #142 as the goons set upon him.Mr. Process Manager watches sadly. It's a good thing this rarely happens, he thinks to himself. It never gets any easier ...- Jeff |
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Merkin
Funky Drop Bear Fearing SQL Dude!
4970 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-03 : 22:58:50
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| You're a disturbed individual JeffI love it Damian |
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Merkin
Funky Drop Bear Fearing SQL Dude!
4970 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-03 : 23:00:46
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| In the next espisode can we have hundreds of pro-life processes protesting outside Query Analyzer to try to end the use of "Kill".Damian |
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byrmol
Shed Building SQL Farmer
1591 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-04 : 03:53:06
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| Watch for the sequel (pun intended)....Process #142.. ReloadedStarring Dr Codd as the Architect, Date as the Oracle, Pascal as Merovingian and in his first ever appearance... Process #141 as the "other process".Rated MWarning: Contains violence, nudity and adult themes.DavidMA front-end is something that tries to violate a back-end. |
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jsmith8858
Dr. Cross Join
7423 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-04 : 07:46:37
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| The following "bonus scene" was not included on the final edit due to "disturbing content" and will be available when the DVD comes out:Process #142, his fate now clear, bargains for his life: "Why me? I heard Process #294 is doing a huge SELECT TOP 10 without an order by! Terminate that guy! Process #832, someone in the break room told me he was doing one of those 'fancy Rob Volk UPDATE with a variable statements' and he's been purposely doing it out of order to screw with everyone! Or #623 - they say he's put nothing but dirty DBA jokes in his transaction logs!"- Jeff |
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robvolk
Most Valuable Yak
15732 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-04 : 08:12:19
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| I'm laughing too hard at this, luckily I wasn't drinking anything at the time or you'd owe me a new keyboard, monitor... |
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TG
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
6065 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-04 : 09:21:33
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| Thinking quickly, process 142 grabbed a nearby transaction and wrapped himshelf in itthinking, " < (Select description from master..sysmessages where error=6115) > ".The goon turns back to Mr. Process Manager and sadly reports, "< (Select description from master..sysmessages where error=6116) >"Mr. Process Manager pounds his fist angrily on the desk, "VERY WELL!!, Let's go pay a little visit to process #832..."Be One with the OptimizerTG |
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spirit1
Cybernetic Yak Master
11752 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-04 : 10:13:52
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| ROTFL!!!! TG that was icing on the cake. Go with the flow & have fun! Else fight the flow |
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TG
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
6065 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-04 : 10:23:34
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| Sorry, it's just that Jeff brought process #142 to life for me. Brought him straight into my heart and I'm a sucker for a Holywood ending...and besides, Rob's fancy update with a variable deserves to die. :)Be One with the OptimizerTG |
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jsmith8858
Dr. Cross Join
7423 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-04 : 10:58:58
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| Hey, TG, I enjoyed the ending! and the cleverness of the error messages .. very cool! As for Process #142, yes he is a likeable fellow. Sort of an "Arthur Dent"-esque quailty to him, I'd say.- Jeff |
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Michael Valentine Jones
Yak DBA Kernel (pronounced Colonel)
7020 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-04 : 18:20:44
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| Process #142 became depressed with survivors guilt after his narrow escape, and attempted to end it all.He discovered that "( Select description from master..sysmessages where error = 6104 )", and escaped again.The saga continues.CODO ERGO SUM |
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rockmoose
SQL Natt Alfen
3279 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-04 : 18:51:19
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| A very happy ending indeed!But there is a dark side as well;Even though Process #142 knows he is thee 1 with the answer, he is so shocked by theexperience, and by his narrow escape that he decides to not play it clean anymore!"From here on..., I will always do dirty reads!", he says to himself.The state of the supercomputer has never been in a more perilous state ever before !!!rockmoose |
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Xerxes
Aged Yak Warrior
666 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-07 : 13:40:23
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| This is priceless! This is primary the reason I visit SQLTeam.com - the information is sound, and the entertainment value is simply priceless!Semper fi, XERXES, USMC(Ret.)------------------------------------------------------The Marine Corps taught me everything but SQL! |
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jen
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
4110 Posts |
Posted - 2005-04-20 : 02:59:56
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| Mr. Process Manager, "He's doing it again! Now we got him". With his two goons in tow, they identified Process #142 hiding behind a trExport in table X using Profiler.The room opened with a bang, Mr. Process Manager shouting orders to the goons to take him down. Suddenly, Process #142 pulls out an object. "Well gentlemen, here we are again. This object that I'm holding will annihilate all Processes in this server, I call it spAnnihilate. Exported this little baby from sqlteam.comThe mechanism is simple, if you kill me, this will detonate and will 'take care' of all processes. So if I were you, leave me in peace and let me finish this report i'm exporting! Whether you like it or not, I am going to finish this task."Mr. Process Manager, speechless closed the door. Dialed a number, "We have a situation, the Victim is not responding."Then total blackout.As the flash of light filled the room, Mr. Process Manager with his two goons (now with complete set of teeth and clean-shaven) enters calmly. "Go clean this mess and leave no trace. Processes will be coming in now and no one must know what happened"----------------------keeping it simple... |
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found it funny