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Ask SQL Team - PLEASE READ

Author

Topic

robvolk
Most Valuable Yak

15732 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-20 : 07:13:00

Due to the recent performance issues, many of the recent Ask SQL Team posts have become temporarily inaccessible. You can still use the page (http://www.sqlteam.com/AskUs.asp) but we cannot post your question in the forums at this time.

If you need an answer more quickly, you can register at http://www.sqlteam.com/Forums/policy.asp and post your question(s) directly in the forums.

Thanks for your patience.

Merkin
Funky Drop Bear Fearing SQL Dude!

4970 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-20 : 09:33:06

Rob you make it all sound so formal... I feel like we are a professional operation

Damian

robvolk
Most Valuable Yak

15732 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-20 : 12:30:35

Ooooops, sorry about that. What I meant to say was:

Uhhhhhh, Ask SQL Team is kinda FUBAR right now, so if you post there we won't get to it. Register and use the forums instead, duhhhhhhhhh. Thanx!

jsmith8858
Dr. Cross Join

7423 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-20 : 14:23:41

Rob -- you should've used this:

http://ccwf.cc.utexas.edu/~eclectic/toys/jive.html

on your original post:

Due t' da damn recent puh'formance issues, many o' da damn recent Ax'
S-Q-fuckin'-L Taim posts have become temporari-like inaccessible. Yo' ass kin
still 'esploit da damn page (down low, http, dig
dis://www.sqltaim.com/Askus.asp) but we caint post yo' quesshun in da forums at
dis time.

If yo' ass need some answa' mo' quick-like, yo' ass kin regista' at http, dig
dis://www.sqltaim.com/Forums/policy.asp an' post yo' quesshun(down low, s)
direct-like in da forums.

Thanks 4 yo' patience.

- Jeff

X002548
Not Just a Number

15586 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-20 : 15:57:39

How'd you find that site. Pretty funny if you ask me.

Or

How'd yo' ass find dat site. Pretty funny if yo' ass ax' me.

Brett

8-)

Merkin
Funky Drop Bear Fearing SQL Dude!

4970 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-20 : 22:42:41

Or in the words of a 12-Year-Old-AOLer

DUE 2 TEH RECENT PARFORMANCE ISUES MANY OF DA RECENT ASK SQL TAM POSTS HAEV BCOME TEMPORARILY INAC3SIBL3!1!1!1 OMG LOL U CAN STIL US3 TEH PAEG (HTP/WWSQLTEMCOM/ASKUSASP)111!!1 LOL BUT WA CANOT POST UR QUESTION IN DA FORUMS AT THIS TIEM!1!1! LOL

IF U NED AN ANSWAR MORE QUIKLY U CAN R3GISTAR AT HTP/WWSQLT3MCOM/FORUMS/POLICYASP!1!!111 OMG LOL AND POST UR QU3STION(S) DIERCTLY IN TEH FORUMS!1!1! WTF THX FOR UR PATEINCE111!111 OMG LOL

Damian

X002548
Not Just a Number

15586 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-23 : 08:43:37

Weel, the site is flying now...what'dya change?

don't tell me you added an index...

Brett

8-)

Merkin
Funky Drop Bear Fearing SQL Dude!

4970 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-23 : 09:32:27

Added some cursors, DTS and Cold Fizzy Beer.

Damian

Amethystium
Aged Yak Warrior

701 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-24 : 11:20:12

quote:

DUE 2 TEH RECENT PARFORMANCE ISUES MANY OF DA RECENT ASK SQL TAM POSTS HAEV BCOME TEMPORARILY INAC3SIBL3!1!1!1 OMG LOL U CAN STIL US3 TEH PAEG (HTP/WWSQLTEMCOM/ASKUSASP)111!!1 LOL BUT WA CANOT POST UR QUESTION IN DA FORUMS AT THIS TIEM!1!1! LOL

IF U NED AN ANSWAR MORE QUIKLY U CAN R3GISTAR AT HTP/WWSQLT3MCOM/FORUMS/POLICYASP!1!!111 OMG LOL AND POST UR QU3STION(S) DIERCTLY IN TEH FORUMS!1!1! WTF THX FOR UR PATEINCE111!111 OMG LOL

LOL.... that's brilliant.... and so true!

How about words like l33t and kewl

----------------
Have a good day!

jsmith8858
Dr. Cross Join

7423 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-24 : 11:25:25

quote:

Added some cursors, DTS and Cold Fizzy Beer.

OMG! LOL!

- Jeff

kelleyb
Yak Posting Veteran

61 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-24 : 13:36:17

And... If Microsoft were to use these folks to write BOL, it would certainly add a bit of "flare". This snippet from the CREATE TABLE statement, "owner" argument.

"Be da damn name o' da damn usa' I-D dat owns da fresh table. owna' gots'ta be
some 'esistin' usa' I-D in da database specified by database_name. owna'
defaults t' da damn usa' I-D associated wit' da damn login 4 da current
connecshun in da database specified in database_name. If da C-R-E-A-T-fuckin'-E
T-A-B-L-fuckin'-E statement be driven-by by some memba' o' da damn sysadmin
fixed serva' role, o' some memba' o' da damn db_dbowna' o' db_ddladmin fixed
database roles in da database specified by database_name, owna' kin specify
some usa' I-D otha' dan da one associated wit' da damn login o' da damn current
connecshun. If da C-R-E-A-T-fuckin'-E T-A-B-L-fuckin'-E statement be driven-by
by some login associated wit' some usa' I-D dat has only create table
puh'missions, owna' gots'ta specify da usa' I-D associated wit' da damn current
login. Memba's o' da damn sysadmin fixed serva' role, o' logins aliased t' da
damn dbo usa' be associated wit' da damn usa' I-D dbo; therefo', tables created
by dese-he'ah usa's default t' havin' dbo as da owna'. Tables created by no
logins not in eitha' o' dese-he'ah deuce roles have owna' default t' da damn
usa' I-D associated wit' da damn login."

BWHAHAHAHA... I love it!

-Brian

Arnold Fribble
Yak-finder General

1961 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-24 : 16:03:27

http://www.google.com/search?q=opera+swedish-chef

nr
SQLTeam MVY

12543 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-24 : 16:37:24

quote:

Added some cursors, DTS and Cold Fizzy Beer.

Damian

Enjoying the tennis?

==========================================
Cursors are useful if you don't know sql.
DTS can be used in a similar way.
Beer is not cold and it isn't fizzy.

X002548
Not Just a Number

15586 Posts

Posted - 2003-06-24 : 16:48:58