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 Things you never want to hear from an IT pro

Author  Topic 

elwoos
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

2052 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-19 : 11:13:37
1) What can possibly go wrong?

2) How hard can it be?

3) Of course I know what I am doing.

4) Does it normally do that?

There must be plenty more

steve

-----------

Deja Moo - The feeling you've heard the same bull before.

Michael Valentine Jones
Yak DBA Kernel (pronounced Colonel)

7020 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-19 : 12:13:30
Does anyone know where the source code is?

Did anyone notice that the backups haven't run for a couple of months?

There should be no impact to the business.

Maybe we should have tested that change.

The vendor supports that, or at least they did until we dropped the maintenance to save money.





CODO ERGO SUM
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GilaMonster
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

4507 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-19 : 12:46:02
Manic laughter when you ask 'What's your backup strategy?'

--
Gail Shaw
SQL Server MVP
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webfred
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

8781 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-19 : 12:49:56
The value in this datetime column is stored in a wrong format!

No, you're never too old to Yak'n'Roll if you're too young to die.
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robvolk
Most Valuable Yak

15732 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-19 : 13:57:08
It works on my machine.

Of course I LOVE saying that, I just don't like hearing it from others.
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DonAtWork
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

2167 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-19 : 14:30:51
Source control? It's on the "P" drive, why?

http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/jeffs/archive/2008/05/13/question-needed-not-answer.aspx
How to ask: http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25/5276.aspx
For ultra basic questions, follow these links.
http://www.sql-tutorial.net/
http://www.firstsql.com/tutor.htm
http://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp
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Lumbago
Norsk Yak Master

3271 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-20 : 07:51:16
"Ooops"



- Lumbago
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. Albert Einstein
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harsh_athalye
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

5581 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-20 : 08:29:42
What the F**K!

Harsh Athalye
http://www.letsgeek.net/
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elwoos
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

2052 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-20 : 11:43:58
OK we've discussed it now we're going to do it Kristens way

steve

-----------

Deja Moo - The feeling you've heard the same bull before.
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Michael Valentine Jones
Yak DBA Kernel (pronounced Colonel)

7020 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-20 : 12:03:14
I know this is at least a 6 week project and we don't even have most of the requirements yet, but the customer needs it tomorrow.





CODO ERGO SUM
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robvolk
Most Valuable Yak

15732 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-20 : 13:58:32
quote:
I know this is at least a 6 week project and we don't even have most of the requirements yet, but the customer needs it tomorrow no later than noon today.
FTFY
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Kristen
Test

22859 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-20 : 15:22:40
My response to those is always "Good job you only want the impossible as, whilst that is hideous expensive, miracles cost a lot more"
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GilaMonster
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

4507 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-20 : 16:09:47
My usual statement to that kind of situation is the other way around.
"Miracles I can do, the impossible takes a while longer"

I'm busy with one of those situations at the moment. They really need a miracle...

--
Gail Shaw
SQL Server MVP
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elwoos
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

2052 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-21 : 05:15:59
So you've known about this for months/years and finally decide to let us know the day before the deadline

steve

-----------

Deja Moo - The feeling you've heard the same bull before.
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elwoos
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

2052 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-21 : 05:17:23
Who told you it was possible to do that?

steve

-----------

Deja Moo - The feeling you've heard the same bull before.
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tosscrosby
Aged Yak Warrior

676 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-21 : 11:11:19
1) Did you reboot? - usually the first response from our help desk
2) Perhaps it's a virus
3) Didn't you get the email?

Terry

-- A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. -- Bill Cosby
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Transact Charlie
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

3451 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-21 : 12:17:26
1) Sorry guy's but we are going to need a new microwave....


Charlie
===============================================================
Msg 3903, Level 16, State 1, Line 1736
The ROLLBACK TRANSACTION request has no corresponding BEGIN TRANSACTION
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Sachin.Nand

2937 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-23 : 01:24:13
1)But it works on my machine.

2)THIS cant be the source of THAT.

3)There must be something funky in your data.

4)Now that's weird.It worked yesterday.

The best one

5)Where were you when the program blew up?

PBUH
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elwoos
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

2052 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-25 : 05:00:55
My personal and well used favourite

It must be down to sunspot activity

steve

-----------

Deja Moo - The feeling you've heard the same bull before.
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webfred
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

8781 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-25 : 05:05:19
We will do that using the 6 weeks between xmas and new year.

No, you're never too old to Yak'n'Roll if you're too young to die.
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RickD
Slow But Sure Yak Herding Master

3608 Posts
Posted - 2010-05-25 : 05:18:10
My favourite, 'Hey look, it completed first time without any errors, my job here is done'
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