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Topic |
graz
Chief SQLTeam Crack Dealer
4149 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-29 : 15:24:31
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you hit F5 to send an instant message.=================================================Creating tomorrow's legacy systems today. One crisis at a time. |
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Kristen
Test
22859 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-29 : 15:36:47
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F5 eh? That's a bit old-fashioned isn't it?I use INSERT INTO MyTable(Recipient, Message)SELECT 'Graz', 'Hello'which involves a trigger to work out the recipient's MSN address, resolve any Smilies, but does allow me to use UNION ALL for annoying people to swamp them with messages .... |
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graz
Chief SQLTeam Crack Dealer
4149 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-29 : 15:50:15
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I'm old-school.=================================================Creating tomorrow's legacy systems today. One crisis at a time. |
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dataguru1971
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
1464 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-29 : 16:01:31
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Before a first date you start determining the best trigger to maintain relational/referential integrity. |
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Kristen
Test
22859 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-29 : 17:01:00
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"Before a first date"Note that Relational Databases have no concept of a "first date". So you would need an "order by" (or in the case of advance queries a "group by" ) to establish which was the "first date") |
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jen
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
4110 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-29 : 17:01:36
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you're machine starts to hang and begs to be rebooted/shutdown...you're using two machines (one installed with server OS)--------------------keeping it simple... |
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dataguru1971
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
1464 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-29 : 17:05:15
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Okay, now your reply clearly indicates that you have been a DBA way too long.Lets add "Correcting the SQL methodology of a joke" to the mix.:)quote: Originally posted by Kristen "Before a first date"Note that Relational Databases have no concept of a "first date". So you would need an "order by" (or in the case of advance queries a "group by" ) to establish which was the "first date") 
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Kristen
Test
22859 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-29 : 17:06:16
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"you're machine starts to hang"s/machine/equipment/ ... |
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jhermiz
3564 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-30 : 15:13:29
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"You know you've been a dba too long when..."Your heart begins to sink when your business development departmentrequests that their new CRM tool should take advantage of excel and word databases...No joke Weblog -- [url]http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/jhermiz[/url] |
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Zoroaster
Aged Yak Warrior
702 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-30 : 15:24:59
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When doing a google search and highlighting part of a phrase to exclude it from the search. Future guru in the making. |
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elwoos
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
2052 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-31 : 09:21:41
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You know you've been a DBA too long when...You think its a good idea to have a database that automatically sends a text message saying Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas,... to friends and familysteve-----------Don't worry head. The computer will do all the thinking from now on. |
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elancaster
A very urgent SQL Yakette
1208 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-31 : 09:33:29
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when...someone in the pub mentions 'hash' an the first thing you think of is a join Em |
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DonAtWork
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
2167 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-31 : 10:30:19
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When you look at McDonald's menu and think "They should really normalize their data"[Signature]For fast help, follow this link:http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25.aspxLearn SQLhttp://www.sql-tutorial.net/ http://www.firstsql.com/tutor.htm http://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp |
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jhermiz
3564 Posts |
Posted - 2007-10-31 : 11:17:18
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quote: Originally posted by DonAtWork When you look at McDonald's menu and think "They should really normalize their data"[Signature]For fast help, follow this link:http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25.aspxLearn SQLhttp://www.sql-tutorial.net/ http://www.firstsql.com/tutor.htm http://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp
Funny I've thought the same in the past!Weblog -- [url]http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/jhermiz[/url] |
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TG
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
6065 Posts |
Posted - 2007-11-01 : 09:37:40
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You know you've been a DBA too long when...1) You can only truely identify co-workers by looking at there sql coding style. (much the same way a dog needs to sniff an ass to be sure)2) if you don't have query analyzer available to you, you can't perform the simplest taskssuch as adding 2 numbers (yes, I'm still using QA...sigh)3) when an attractive person of the gender you are attracted to says, "Hi!" You think,"Great, another idiot can't connect to the dev box"Be One with the OptimizerTG |
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spirit1
Cybernetic Yak Master
11752 Posts |
Posted - 2007-11-01 : 10:21:39
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TG??? whoa!!! where have you been dude???_______________________________________________Causing trouble since 1980blog: http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/mladenpSSMS Add-in that does a few things: www.ssmstoolspack.com |
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Kristen
Test
22859 Posts |
Posted - 2007-11-01 : 10:30:33
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"3) when an attractive person of the gender you are attracted to says, "Hi!" You think,"Great, another idiot can't connect to the dev box""You need to connect those ones to your PRODUCTION box mate! |
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AndrewMurphy
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
2916 Posts |
Posted - 2007-11-01 : 12:32:26
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You need to connect those ones to your PRODUCTION box mate! "Are you inferring IT/DBA staff are not attractive"??? |
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Kristen
Test
22859 Posts |
Posted - 2007-11-01 : 12:50:11
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On the contrary ... TG's Point 3 only applies to the ones that are ... |
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TG
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
6065 Posts |
Posted - 2007-11-01 : 16:34:27
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quote: Originally posted by spirit1 TG??? whoa!!! where have you been dude???
Not sure what happened, man...I just sorta got out of the habbit of sqlteamingBe One with the OptimizerTG |
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elwoos
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
2052 Posts |
Posted - 2007-11-02 : 09:37:31
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quote: On the contrary ... TG's Point 3 only applies to the ones that are ...
plural?-----------Don't worry head. The computer will do all the thinking from now on. |
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