You know you've been a DBA too long when...

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You know you've been a DBA too long when...

Author

Topic

graz
Chief SQLTeam Crack Dealer

4149 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-29 : 15:24:31

you hit F5 to send an instant message.

=================================================
Creating tomorrow's legacy systems today. One crisis at a time.

Kristen
Test

22859 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-29 : 15:36:47

F5 eh? That's a bit old-fashioned isn't it?

I use

INSERT INTO MyTable(Recipient, Message)
SELECT 'Graz', 'Hello'

which involves a trigger to work out the recipient's MSN address, resolve any Smilies, but does allow me to use UNION ALL for annoying people to swamp them with messages ....

graz
Chief SQLTeam Crack Dealer

4149 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-29 : 15:50:15

I'm old-school.

=================================================
Creating tomorrow's legacy systems today. One crisis at a time.

dataguru1971
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

1464 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-29 : 16:01:31

Before a first date you start determining the best trigger to maintain relational/referential integrity.

Kristen
Test

22859 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-29 : 17:01:00

"Before a first date"

Note that Relational Databases have no concept of a "first date". So you would need an "order by" (or in the case of advance queries a "group by"

) to establish which was the "first date")

jen
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

4110 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-29 : 17:01:36

you're machine starts to hang and begs to be rebooted/shutdown
.
.
.
you're using two machines (one installed with server OS)

--------------------
keeping it simple...

dataguru1971
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

1464 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-29 : 17:05:15

Okay, now your reply clearly indicates that you have been a DBA way too long.

Lets add "Correcting the SQL methodology of a joke" to the mix.

:)

quote:
Originally posted by Kristen

"Before a first date"

Note that Relational Databases have no concept of a "first date". So you would need an "order by" (or in the case of advance queries a "group by" ) to establish which was the "first date")

Kristen
Test

22859 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-29 : 17:06:16

"you're machine starts to hang"

s/machine/equipment/ ...

jhermiz

3564 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-30 : 15:13:29

"You know you've been a dba too long when..."

Your heart begins to sink when your business development department
requests that their new CRM tool should take advantage of excel and word databases...

No joke

Weblog -- [url]http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/jhermiz[/url]

Zoroaster
Aged Yak Warrior

702 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-30 : 15:24:59

When doing a google search and highlighting part of a phrase to exclude it from the search.

Future guru in the making.

elwoos
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

2052 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-31 : 09:21:41

You know you've been a DBA too long when...

You think its a good idea to have a database that automatically sends a text message saying Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas,... to friends and family

steve

-----------

Don't worry head. The computer will do all the thinking from now on.

elancaster
A very urgent SQL Yakette

1208 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-31 : 09:33:29

when...

someone in the pub mentions 'hash' an the first thing you think of is a join

DonAtWork
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

2167 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-31 : 10:30:19

When you look at McDonald's menu and think "They should really normalize their data"

[Signature]For fast help, follow this link:
http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25.aspx
Learn SQL
http://www.sql-tutorial.net/
http://www.firstsql.com/tutor.htm
http://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp

jhermiz

3564 Posts

Posted - 2007-10-31 : 11:17:18

quote:
Originally posted by DonAtWork

When you look at McDonald's menu and think "They should really normalize their data"

[Signature]For fast help, follow this link:
http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/brettk/archive/2005/05/25.aspx
Learn SQL
http://www.sql-tutorial.net/
http://www.firstsql.com/tutor.htm
http://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp

Funny I've thought the same in the past!

Weblog -- [url]http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/jhermiz[/url]

TG
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

6065 Posts

Posted - 2007-11-01 : 09:37:40

You know you've been a DBA too long when...

1) You can only truely identify co-workers by looking at there sql coding style.
(much the same way a dog needs to sniff an ass to be sure)

2) if you don't have query analyzer available to you, you can't perform the simplest tasks
such as adding 2 numbers (yes, I'm still using QA...sigh)

3) when an attractive person of the gender you are attracted to says, "Hi!" You think,
"Great, another idiot can't connect to the dev box"

Be One with the Optimizer
TG

spirit1
Cybernetic Yak Master

11752 Posts

Posted - 2007-11-01 : 10:21:39

TG??? whoa!!! where have you been dude???

_______________________________________________
Causing trouble since 1980
blog: http://weblogs.sqlteam.com/mladenp
SSMS Add-in that does a few things: www.ssmstoolspack.com

Kristen
Test

22859 Posts

Posted - 2007-11-01 : 10:30:33

"3) when an attractive person of the gender you are attracted to says, "Hi!" You think,
"Great, another idiot can't connect to the dev box""

You need to connect those ones to your PRODUCTION box mate!

AndrewMurphy
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

2916 Posts

Posted - 2007-11-01 : 12:32:26

You need to connect those ones to your PRODUCTION box mate!

"Are you inferring IT/DBA staff are not attractive"???

Kristen
Test

22859 Posts

Posted - 2007-11-01 : 12:50:11

On the contrary ... TG's Point 3 only applies to the ones that are ...

TG
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker

6065 Posts

Posted - 2007-11-01 : 16:34:27