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Michael Valentine Jones
Yak DBA Kernel (pronounced Colonel)
7020 Posts |
 Posted - 2005-03-07 : 20:26:43
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| I've been working on a new screenplay, and this is an excerpt from one scene:....CIO: "Did you order the code change?" DBA: "You want answers?" CIO: "I think I'm entitled." DBA: "You want answers!!" CIO: "I want the truth!" DBA: "You can't handle the truth!" DBA: "Son, we live in a world that has databases. And those databases have to be administered by men with laptops. Who's gonna do it? You? Developers? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for your application and you curse the DBA team. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that your application's crash, while tragic, probably saved the database. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves databases. You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me online. You need me on online! We use words like referential integrity, table constraints, and triggers... we use these words as the backbone to a life spent administering databases. You use 'em as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very data integrity I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you logon and start coding. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!!" CIO: "Did you order the code change???" DBA: "I did my job, I'd do it again." CIO: "Did you order the code change??!" DBA: "You're God damn right I did!" ....CODO ERGO SUM |
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Merkin
Funky Drop Bear Fearing SQL Dude!
4970 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-07 : 20:59:15
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 People are wondering why I'm laughing at my computer.Damian |
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graz
Chief SQLTeam Crack Dealer
4149 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-07 : 21:09:24
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| I had to read it twice to figure out if you were in my meeting last week. Really.This is genius. Pure genius. I stand humbled.===============================================Creating tomorrow's legacy systems today.One crisis at a time. |
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jsmith8858
Dr. Cross Join
7423 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-07 : 21:27:45
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| Wow! Well done!- Jeff |
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TG
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
6065 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-07 : 21:42:59
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| That was fantastic!! Do my company now, "one flew over the developers lounge"?Be One with the OptimizerTG |
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jen
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
4110 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 00:55:55
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| ha ha ha, this was genius, pure genius...--------------------keeping it simple... |
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elwoos
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
2052 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 03:42:36
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| SuperbAnd how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. |
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spirit1
Cybernetic Yak Master
11752 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 05:00:42
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well put!  Go with the flow & have fun! Else fight the flow  |
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ehorn
Master Smack Fu Yak Hacker
1632 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 07:17:48
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| You eat breakfast 300 yards from 4,000 developers trained to corrupt your data.... |
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spirit1
Cybernetic Yak Master
11752 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 08:06:18
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| i must say that MVJ's title is very well suited. you can't handle the truth... hahahahaha... cracks me up every time i read it.Go with the flow & have fun! Else fight the flow |
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X002548
Not Just a Number
15586 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 09:13:36
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| I should post this on our bulletin board....So.....what brought this on?Brett8-) |
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Xerxes
Aged Yak Warrior
666 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 12:10:15
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I wish that stupid inaccurate movie that purportedly presumesto know about how the Marine Corps operates would fade away. I think Jones' script is hilarious. The movie SHOULD HAVE BEEN about DBAs!not the Marines.Semper fi, XERXES, USMC(Ret.)------------------------------------------------------The Marine Corps taught me everything but SQL! |
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JimL
SQL Slinging Yak Ranger
1537 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 13:16:19
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| ROTFLOL, ROTFLOL, ROTFLOLJimUsers <> Logic |
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spirit1
Cybernetic Yak Master
11752 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 13:18:38
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| hey jim maybe you and xerxes should trade stories.... an ex marine and an ex ranger... man i wish i could see that Go with the flow & have fun! Else fight the flow |
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X002548
Not Just a Number
15586 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 13:27:32
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| Be careful what you wish for....Brett8-) |
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JimL
SQL Slinging Yak Ranger
1537 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 13:28:46
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| The corp has Guys that come close to Rangers they are called Recon Marines.I trained a few that came in to pearl when I was At scofield.JimUsers <> Logic |
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tkizer
Almighty SQL Goddess
38200 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 13:32:16
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quote:
Originally posted by Xerxes
I wish that stupid inaccurate movie that purportedly presumesto know about how the Marine Corps operates would fade away.I think Jones' script is hilarious. The movie SHOULD HAVE BEEN about DBAs!not the Marines.
That's what you call a movie. You have to get rid of all knowledge about whatever the movie is depicting, otherwise you can't enjoy it.Tara |
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Xerxes
Aged Yak Warrior
666 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 14:19:30
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quote:
Originally posted by JimL
The corp has Guys that come close to Rangers they are called Recon Marines.I trained a few that came in to pearl when I was At scofield.JimUsers <> Logic
Jim.....y'know, if we can find a sailor and an airman, we could create the SQL Joint Cheifs of Staff! ROTFL! Checked your bio. Army Ranger, huh? Are you retired, too? I was never recon. Taught line training (h2hc), did Embassy duty during the 'fun' Carter years when our embassies were being used for target practice. Recruited in OH in '83-'87 and a lot of IT in between. No recon. The Corps is too small and too specialized to get around as much. They like to keep you in what you're good at. I took Special Duty whenever I could get it, else I was stuck in IT........so how about it? Any Navy or USAF out there?Semper fi, XERXES, USMC(Ret.)------------------------------------------------------The Marine Corps taught me everything but SQL! |
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Xerxes
Aged Yak Warrior
666 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 14:43:39
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quote:
Originally posted by tduggan
quote:
Originally posted by Xerxes
I wish that stupid inaccurate movie that purportedly presumesto know about how the Marine Corps operates would fade away.I think Jones' script is hilarious. The movie SHOULD HAVE BEEN about DBAs!not the Marines.
That's what you call a movie. You have to get rid of all knowledge about whatever the movie is depicting, otherwise you can't enjoy it.Tara
SQL Snowboarding Queen....sorry to have been a party pooper, Mike's re-write of Nicholson's 'testimony as a perceived USMC Colonel' is amusing. Maybe even genius, and quite hilarious. But if you were me, though you might have found the soliloquy funny, it's origin isn't. It's like if the world took something personal of yours and parodied it to no end. But unless you've been where I've been this doesn't make sense. And I'll drop it right here. Semper fi, GySgt Philip L. Fowler, USMC (Retired)Semper fi, XERXES, USMC(Ret.)------------------------------------------------------The Marine Corps taught me everything but SQL! |
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tkizer
Almighty SQL Goddess
38200 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 14:49:30
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| Very true. And the reason why I brought it up is that I'm sure everyone has had a problem with a movie depicting something incorrectly.Tara |
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JimL
SQL Slinging Yak Ranger
1537 Posts |
Posted - 2005-03-08 : 14:51:42
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| Retired in 87.No IT Infantry, Demo, Medic, Sniper, and Como.JimUsers <> Logic |
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A Few Good DBAs