The simplest way I can think of is to load the data from the Excel file into a Work Table and then write a query to Add/modify/delete. To delete the following, and similar code for Insertions and updates
FROM YourRealTable y
SELECT * FROM YourWorkTable w
WHERE w.customerid = y.customerid
AND w.status = 'Delete'
);You can use SSIS to insert and to run the update queries.